Finding your self in motherhood

My son is 12 years old so my pregnancy seems like forever ago (Y2K, Napster and Ricky Martin, anyone?) It was the most precious time of my life but, at the same time, I went through things many moms go through – Postpartum depression, drastic weight fluctuation, exhaustion and “me” time guilt. I poured every bit of myself into my son. I couldn’t help it, he was the light of my life. But I had no balance and put everything, including myself, at the bottom of the list. As a mother we should give our children all of ourselves however, we should never give up the other things that make us happy.

Way deep down I knew that and still lectured & taught a few art workshops during the week in an attempt to stay connected to “grown up” dialogue. But all the changes happened so fast, in turn affecting the way I looked, my weight and perspective on – everthing. At that time, I didn’t use the internet as a resource to find communities, to reach out to other moms. I felt isolated and convinced myself that I was no longer allowed to indulge. Hello, mom jeans! This, coming from a woman who had been fashion obsessed most of her life. She now questioned her depth and priorities every time she entered a mall.

Fast forward to recent years – my life has evolved, and so has my thinking – my world. I’ve met so many mothers who’d felt this way too. I wasn’t alone, after all. When Candice and Kadi asked me to contribute to Birthing Hip, a site for moms who embrace their new bodies, love fashion and want to share their tips and Must-Haves, I immediately jumped on board. So please join me as I write about my passion for style, fashion history/icons – with an emphasis on silhouettes and clothes that tuck, hide, and elongate. For example, the Banana Republic wrap dress I’m wearing is my go-to look when it’s one of those days and I need to dress up. I have lots of tips to share. See you there!

(dress-banana republic, shoes-zara, purse-michael kors, bracelet-heart of haiti for macy’s)

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  1. You. Are. Beautiful. I love your shoes. Your story. Your perspective. So glad to be in the company of such a great spirit. Great post!

  2. I have been feeling the exact same way lately. Just yesterday I promised to take care of myself a little more, starting with my look. I am not a mom (yet) but I am in my 30s and so busy. I think letting go of our fashion sense and self comes with the territory of getting older. LIke you, I think back on how much I loved to dress up. I always wore heels and now find myself in flats all the time! I blame the MTA in NYC but I know its all me and my lack of effort. Thanks for the reminder!

    And I love that dress!

  3. Beautiful post( i could have sworn i had already commented… ) I am glad to see i wasn’t the only one who suffered thru PP and guilt. It’s amazing the community you can build online with others. Congrats on the new opportunity :)

  4. First off, you are gorgeous. I can’t imagine anyone feeling bad about the way they look with curves and hair like yours! Pero, I know the feeling…. I just gave birth to #2 four weeks ago and I am drowning in pathetic clothes, no makeup and the guilt of wanting things to be different {hello, my boy was JUST born}. I will definitely follow you over to Birthing Hip in hopes that you can salvage this horrible frame and self esteem from the pits of mommy jeans. Ugh. I did buy a maxi dress from Target this week and plan to make an actual attempt on Mother’s Day. But I worry the pattern is wrong for my shape and “my girls” will look even more giant than they already are. Ay Dios mio… I’m a mess!

  5. oh woman, you took me way back! I worked on the legal case defending Napster!! I lived in Palo Alto during that discovery phase of the case! Wow. Good for you for representing mama’s with evolving and lovely bodies! Love it.

  6. Congratulations! Your post is giving me hope. Really, my son is 3 and I still consider my weight gain as post baby weight. : /

    1. I said that for a long time – Until people would ask “How old is your baby?” and I replied “Uh, 5?”

    2. Ericka – my son is 6 and I’m still talking about my baby weight.

      Congrats Rachel – can’t wait to read your posts on Birthing Hip. You look amazing! I am all about the wrap dress myself :)

  7. Bella como siempre! Congrats on contributing to Birthing Hip. Will be following you there as I need to learn how to choose clothes that cover, tuck and elongate. Saludos!

  8. You are perfect for this assignment. You know I had two kids in 3 years and I am just coming to terms with the changes in my body. I feel like I was hiding for a really long time and I LOVE clothes. Finally, I’ve given myself permission to enjoy getting dressed again.

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