Being an extroverted introvert

On being an extroverted introvert

Are you OK? Did something happen? Is it me? Did I say or do something?

As an extroverted introvert, these are the questions I’ve heard all of my life. Once my social bandwidth reached its limit, I desperately need to be alone.  

We’re a confusing bunch, I know. It would be so much easier if we were one or the other, right? Signals would not get crossed. People won’t take your need to be alone personally. But that’s not the case. 

If you’re an extroverted introvert, have a seat next to me and let’s share in what its like, shall we?

Can we hang out without speaking?

This has got to be the biggest issue for when it comes to relationships. It’s been called a bubble. It’s been said I don’t care. O.M.G. Must we consume every minute with conversation? Can we just sit and chill? Can I listen intently without having a response to everything? Can I enjoy every sip of my coffee in the company of friends without using words? It’s nice to feel the energy of the person you’re with without saying much. One of my dearest friends, who is very much like me, said she loves that she can just sit in silence with me and not feel the pressure to be social. I mean, that really is the dream for our types. 

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Your text will get a reply, promise

There are some days that I’m ridiculously text happy. Then there are days that you won’t hear a peep from me. I see your text. It doesn’t seem urgent. I will reply when I’m out of my anti-social cocoon. I work in social media, and there are days when my head is on information overload. Replying to messages becomes daunting, and I just need to sit in silence with my cat. I care. You’re important. My brain just needs a reset. 

Wait, weren’t we just having a great time?

For someone who has worked with people for most her adult life, you’d think I’d have a better grasp on this or that I would have a different kind of job. Truth is, I have a love/hate relationship with people. When I’m in the love zone, I’m on 10. I’ve got jokes. I’m chatting up a storm. But there’s a cut off point. It’s like the battery goes empty and I desperately need to be alone. It’s an internal alarm that says, OK Rach, time to go, these people have overstimulated you. 

High maintenance? No thanks. 

People that cause me to think and explain too much are exhausting. Narcissists, passive-aggressive types and chronic complainers are not fun for most people but for extroverted introverts, it’s all the more reason to hop right into that cocoon. I get very frazzled and overwhelmed by it. I either get super agitated or I zone out. I know my limits. I eventually part ways with these types. The extrovert wants to have a great time. The introvert needs quiet. 

The lonely struggle is real 

Even though we enjoy being alone, we tend to get lonely. I do it to myself though. I pass the course of being alone to the point that I start to feel lonely. I get myself in so deep, it’s hard to get up and out of the rut. Get dressed? Put on makeup? Such an effort. But once I do it and get out, I’m so glad I did.

That is, until the time to go alarm goes off and I need to be alone. 



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