The story of two neighbors

State Farm sponsored this post. All thoughts are my own.

Seeing my son here pictured with his friend of twelve years just makes my heart melt. Time goes by so fast…

The story of two neighbors

I relocated to Los Angeles from New York in 2004 with my son and my then-husband. His career in the entertainment industry was calling his name, so we packed our things and drove cross-country. Sounds exciting but to say that the transition from the east to the west coast was an incredible challenge is an understatement.

We were in the midst of trying to salvage the marriage, start a new life, and raise a little boy without the help of family and friends.

To my surprise, we moved into a complex with some of the best neighbors anyone could ask for. Within the first week of our move, the couple upstairs invited us for drinks to celebrate our new place while the ones across the hall, who had a daughter the same age as our son, took us out to Dim sum to show us the local areas. The warm welcome made a huge difference for us during this transition.

Our ‘across the hall’ neighbors (Jen, Juan and their daughter Kala) soon became a big part of our lives. We always thought of ways we could keep the kids in each other’s lives because we felt it was important for them to have a sense a community and belonging outside of the family unit.

The neighborly gestures soon became a real friendship when my marriage ended a couple of years later. Doing the best they could to balance out the relationship they had with my ex while still living next door to me, they always made sure to preserve the bond between their daughter and my son. That was a huge relief for me, especially during those times I just needed to deal with those not-so-fun feelings divorce can drudge up for many. Having my family across the country during this time was not easy, so I am thankful to them for doing the same thing a loving aunt or uncle would do during a challenging situation.

Fast forward to today, and we’re still part of each other’s lives. We celebrate our children’s milestones together and never miss ringing in the New Year with one another.

Over the years, my son grew very protective of Kala. He’s walked her home from school, helped her babysit her younger siblings and defended her whenever teens were being, well, teens. And just like any normal friendship, they’ve had moments where they may not always agree. But they always manage to work through anything by talking it out. Even when he gives her bunny ears and teases her. Because, boys.

My son goes to their house to eat whenever he hears they’re making chicken wings and he can’t pass up her mom’s rice krispie treats. Kala has helped me with work and I always make myself available to help out the little ones. I just cannot say enough great things about this friendship, and how much we mean to one another.

What was once a knock on the door as a simple hello, later became a life-changing experience for me, and even moreseo son. Over the years, my son not only learned about the importance of having friendships with girls but also how to work things through with them in a healthy, respectful way. They both have a deal that no boyfriend/girlfriend would ever interfere with the friendship. They’re both straight up about this when they date someone. Seriously, how awesome is that?

Before making that move in 2004, a sense of community was top on my list. I’m Latina. Socialization is a huge part of the culture, and I can’t imagine life any other way. I also grew up in NYC, where neighbors were a huge part of my life. I wanted my son to grow up in a place where the neighbors look out for you, which, according to a survey recently conducted by State Farm about what makes a good neighbor, that’s actually a pretty common desire. It wasn’t surprising to learn that most people actually want to be connected with their neighbors in more meaningful ways than just waving hello over a picket fence.

However, the connections are not really happening. According to the survey, roughly one in three Latinos wish they were more personally connected to their neighbors. More than six in ten say it’s important for neighbors to come and socialize, and nearly half regularly get together for holidays and events in the neighborhood. Only 42% of Latinos say they were welcomed into the neighborhood, despite 75% of them saying it is important to welcome neighbors.

We definitely need to get these numbers up. Let’s put down the phones, and say hello. Our lives would have been a completely different one had I not been invited out to dinner or if I had said no.