My word for 2017 was Vivacious. I chose that word because I had been unwell for so long, I was determined to do what it took to feel good again. Alive. Energetic. Vibrant.
In retrospect, that was a big word for me at the time. I had to do a lot of work. My TMJ disorder wasn’t just jaw clicking. It caused a lot of neurological problems that even affected my gut health. It’s been a long road and can say that – finally – I’m having a lot more moments of vivaciousness.
In 2018, I chose patience. I didn’t mention this in the post but at that time my son was in high school and going through the “I’m grown” thing, which is normal, right? But, holy smokes, as a parent it is frustrating as all heck when you know that they are clearly not grown yet, and that the decisions they make at this age aren’t exactly planned out very well. I mean, I was happy he was exercising his independence and carving his own path. He’s supposed to do that. At the same time, there are still rules we all need to adhere to in life. And without that frontal lobe being fully developed (you know, the one that helps us understand consequence), I needed the patience of Moses to get through it. Between this and living with a pain disorder and perimenopause, I needed a lot, a LOT, of time-outs.
Am I there yet? Not at all. That’s another big word that doesn’t happen over night. He and I are still trying to find a happy medium. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to falling back and letting things take their course. And he, a very social 19 year old who is actually a lot like I was, has a lot of life to live and lessons to learn on his own.
So what’s my word for 2019? Well, there are actually quite a few words I have in mind, but only one keeps coming back to me: beautify.
Word for 2019: Beautify
Here’s why: I have not decorated my home in like, well, forever. I’ve made attempts here and there, but it hasn’t been a priority. The fact that I have not prioritized it is actually weird because I love aesthetics and I’m so affected by my environment. But after my second divorce (yes, two of those), I wanted to take my time to create an environment that felt like me.
Well. It never happened. My life was wrapped around work, my son and then illness. I eventually started a new relatiobship, which was long distance. Nurturing that took up the rest of the small amount of time I had left in the day. Curtains and bed sheets kept taking a back seat. Don’t get me wrong, everything was clean and in place but it was basic AF!
Well, I have no excuse now. In fact, it’s probably the best time to focus on beautifying my home. I’m an empty nester. I have no one to fuss over anymore. Why not fuss over curtains, plants and area rugs to make my home a sanctuary after a long day of work? I deserve it.
So my word is more like a call to action instead of how I want to feel. I think the action of beautifying will in turn bring me joy and fullfillment because it’s an opportunity to be creative. I already have a partnership coming up in the new year to get me started, and I’m very excited about that.
Hoping you all find a word for 2019 that fills your soul. Don’t overthink it. Sometimes the word will find you when you least expect it!
2018, you’ve been great. You came with lots of blessings and introspection. Looking forward to 2019!
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